Reflections on this past year 2018

Kerissa • January 4, 2019

Dear friends,

As I look back on 2018, it brings back so many emotions and memories….  But, I see God’s faithful hand throughout all of it once again.

There were many joyous and happy times….like when my family and I were able to spend 10 amazing days at Disney World/Universal Studios Orlando in February (a very, very special gift from some dear friends).  It was such a memorable trip.

But less than 6 months after that, I experienced one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through—my body going into septic shock.

For those who may not know or don’t remember, about 24 hours after my hip surgery, my blood pressure dropped so low that my organs started failing (you can read that post here ).  Because of the extremely low BP, my organs didn’t get perfused well, so my liver got hit with ischemic hepatitis, my kidneys stopped functioning, my lungs partially collapsed/accumulated fluid, and more.🙁

It was a nightmare and so traumatic.  This experience is forever etched into my mind.😔

I never shared this photo that my mom took when I was in MICU (just to clarify, this was taken after things started improving).  But it’s still hard to look at….I was pretty swollen.🙁

When I was more alert, I remember my MICU (medical ICU) nurse staying by my bedside.  She used to work in the cardiac ICU, and she told me how different it is to work in the MICU vs. the cardiac one.  She said most patients in the CICU were mainly recovering from a heart transplant….and then once they improved post-op, they got to go home.  But working here in the MICU, she told me how not many patients make it out of there.🙁

I realize that could have happened to me.  But the Lord, in His faithfulness and with His mighty hand, gave my body strength to fight this.

It’s God’s providence that I was still in the hospital when all this happened (instead of being at home).  The doctors acted really fast and intervened before things got even worse.

I thank God for carrying me through that dark time.  He is always with me!  And He really does hear our prayers and our cries for help.

It’s Day 3 of the year 2019.  I don’t know what’s up ahead….maybe this year will be easier…maybe even harder…  And sometimes, it feels like I’ve used up all my strength.

But God always fills me back up.  He restores my soul.  He lifts me up out of deep waters.  He gives me grace upon grace.

So I will hold onto these promises tightly.  And I will head into this new year with courage!

I know this is a few days late, but Happy New Year, friends.  Whatever comes, may we all “be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might” (Ephesians 6:10)!

Thank you so much for always praying for me.  I’m so grateful for your continued love and caring support these last 8 years.❤ It’s been a long journey!

Love, Kerissa

By Kerissa Lee January 21, 2025
Hi, friends, First off, the piece of art above was hand lettered by me last year before all “this” happened. I’m sad to say that I only have 3 or 4 pieces left to share until I run out.. 😢 I went to see my neuromuscular neurologist in Seattle on January 8th. My neck weakness continues to progress which has been so scary. He said I need to get a neck MRI and some specific blood tests to check for polymyositis. If it is normal, though, his opinion is that this is mitochondrial disease progression. 😔 I haven’t seen my mitochondrial specialist in San Diego in more than 3 years (I started seeing him in 2014!), so I’m sadly no longer considered his patient. The neurologist sent a new referral to him, but I’m not sure if it will be accepted.. He’s almost 80 years old (one of the pioneers of “mitochondrial medicine”). And I don’t know if he’s cutting back on “new” patients.. Even if he did accept my case again, I’m currently not physically well enough to fly down from Oregon.. 😞 My quality of life continues to worsen ever since this unusual neck weakness started this past October. I know I’ve said this before, but I truly miss doing all of my favorite things (like hand lettering art) or even simple tasks (setting up my own IV infusions, vacuuming, washing hair, etc.). 🥺 Before October, I was even starting to drive to physical therapy or the grocery store. Yes, I’m 32 and still don’t have my driver’s license due to being preoccupied fighting mitochondrial disease for almost 15 years now. I never shared the exciting news that I was able to get my driver’s permit over 2 years ago, and it was so fun to drive myself to appointments close to home. Now, I can’t do any of the above which has been difficult to process. I shed tears every now and then just thinking about all that has changed. 😢 I’m having to go to bed around 6:30 PM to lie down and rest my neck. But I’m so uncomfortable from the pain, and I don’t fall asleep until after 3 AM every night. So my pain dr. referred me to palliative care. 😢I know it’s not hospice, but I’m still sad we’re at the point where I even need palliative care. Unfortunately, they’re most likely going to deny the referral (if they haven’t already) because we were told they only see cancer or heart transplant patients. I even checked if there’s palliative outside of OHSU, but they, too, see only oncology. It’s so hard that cancer gets a lot of funding, research, and support, and those with rare diseases are left “on their own.” It’s isolating and lonely. 🥺 I saw my PCP again, and he is just the best and full of compassion. ❤️ He placed the neck MRI as urgent and also ordered more labs to keep pursuing answers since all this is such an atypical picture if it was mito progression.. In case palliative turns my case down, my dr. told me that the internal medicine clinic has a complex and chronic pain management clinic (different from the pain center that I’ve been going to since 2011). He referred me to them to try and help me get more comfortable. I have a wonderful team of doctors and an amazing naturopath, but I’m even going to see a functional medicine doctor for the first time on the 23rd. Praying he could maybe have some additional insight on everything and will offer some fresh ideas for treatment as well.. I also have an appointment with the metabolic geneticist on the 28th.. I’ve read through the Bible more than once, but it’s amazing how the Lord points us to specific verses at just the right time. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think, “I don’t remember reading this before!” Paul David Tripp’s newest devotional Everyday Gospel has been so very encouraging. He shared 2 verses from the book of Genesis where Jacob said that God “answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone” (35:3). Several chapters later, Jacob also said that God “has been my shepherd all my life long to this day” (48:15). When I read that, I felt such peace. God spoke to my heart to remind me that He is with me and for me….in every circumstance no matter how hard. ❤️ Could you please pray that I can have the MRI completed this month and not have to wait many weeks? Pray that all of my doctors will have wisdom as my case is so complex. Lastly, could you pray that I will persevere and keep walking by faith? I feel so weary, not only physically but also mentally and spiritually. 😥 Thank you so much for praying for me all these years. ❤️
By Kerissa Lee December 13, 2024
"He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." Psalm 62:2
By Kerissa Lee November 9, 2024
“Be still, and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10 
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