More Waiting..

Kerissa • October 9, 2012

I’ve had to do a lot of waiting lately, so this song really resonates with me.  Love it!

I recently read a chapter by Amy Carmichael that I wanted to share with you.  It’s called “One Step at a Time,” and in it, she expounds on Psalm 119:105:

This is what she said: “We don’t walk spiritually by electric light, but by a hand-held lantern.  And a lantern shows only the next step—not several steps ahead.”  These are just two short sentences, but they speak volumes to me!  As I still deal with my drooping eyelid, headaches, and leg weakness, I am just reminded that the Lord will guide me each step of the way.  True, there are probably many more long steps before me, but I don’t need to dwell on those.  Just focusing on the first step is enough.

So as I wait and keep waiting for all “this” to fade away, I rest securely in the Lord!  As the song above says, the Lord is “the keeper of my heart.” <3

Update: Not a whole lot to report…unfortunately, the neurologist that I saw on Friday wasn’t able to help at all.  She suggested doing another EMG study, but I really don’t want to do a second so soon after the first.  I’m scarred for life.  One of the needles they used last time was inserted next to my left eyebrow, and they left it in for what seemed like 40 minutes without numbing the skin at all!!  I’m probably exaggerating, but the area bled quite a lot..  Now waiting to hear if my pain doctor’s gonna refer me to another neurologist outside of the OHSU system.  And on Thursday, I officially start physical therapy now that evaluation’s over.  My pain dr. talked with my therapist, and he thinks I’m “safe to be pushed.”

Letter to my GI specialist 💚

By Kerissa Lee • March 31, 2026
Dear Dr. Phillips, There aren’t enough words to express how thankful I am to have had such an amazing GI doctor like you these past 13 years. I think of all the hard challenges that have happened starting at age 20 and beyond: experiencing GI dysmotility, not being able to eat “normal” foods without terrible abdominal pain/distention, only tolerating soft consistencies like baby food pouches (which was not fun as a 22 year old!), needing an NJ tube placed down my nose, having a jejunostomy tube surgically placed, then no longer tolerating tube feeds, dropping down to 77 pounds, getting admitted the day after Christmas to start TPN, being surprised by the extremely high copper levels on my liver biopsy and starting treatment for that, going through septic shock which caused ischemic hepatitis (remember when my liver function test was 1674!), having sepsis 5 other times from multiple central lines and ports, requiring urgent surgery to remove my gallbladder, needing D10 added to my IV fluids for numerous mitochondrial crashes, and much more. Through all the highs and lows, you were there for me, and I truly feel like I hit the “doctor jackpot” to have had a GI specialist as caring, compassionate, knowledgeable, and kind as you. I shed quite a few tears to my chagrin at my last in-person appointment with you in February 2026, and I still do as I reminisce and write this letter. But, they aren’t just tears of sadness. They are also tears of gratitude—I know this journey would have been much more difficult if I didn’t have your wonderful care and support all these years. I’m so happy that I was able to get off of TPN back then after 5 years of being on it. Not only that, but I’m so thankful that I can eat orally to my heart’s content without pain and abdominal distention. I know that’s in part due to you, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much for caring for me. I will never forget you, and I wish you all the best as you start your retirement. :’) With immense gratitude, Kerissa

J-tube update

By Kerissa Lee • March 17, 2026
"God is always doing more than we know, working toward a good we will one day rejoice in." -Lysa Terkeurst

Please pray ❤️

By Kerissa Lee • March 7, 2026
Hi, friends, I would really appreciate prayer. Some of you already know this, but at the end of January, I started dealing with an abdominal abscess right next to my j-tube. I looked back through my records, and that was my 6th abscess. :( Since then, it’s sadly been one issue after another. I won’t go into all that has happened, but I’d especially love prayer for my j-tube site. After the abscess, I had my tube changed to a new one on 2/27. The surgery nurse practitioner decided to try the next size up to see if it could possibly decrease some of the leakage, but unfortunately, that was the wrong decision. It’s too large, so now the site is leaking tenfold compared to my previous size. The small intestinal fluid that keeps leaking out around the tube is full of acid which is burning my skin and making it raw. 😭 If you want to know what it feels like, imagine having a bad burn on your skin…then, on top of that, imagine acid being poured onto the burn every hour continuously. That’s how much pain I’ve been in, and I haven’t been able to sleep very well until after 6:30-7 AM each night because the burn is so intense! :’( I could cry, and I have—that’s how bad the pain is… I would show you a picture of the site but it’s not pleasant. 🥺 I’ve been emailing the nurse practitioner every single day, asking to have the tube changed back to the previous size. She hasn’t been helpful. I’ve tried all of her recommendations, but they aren’t fixing the root cause. I had to get an x-ray with contrast earlier today to check tube placement. If she does eventually agree to have the tube changed, I don’t know how I’ll bear the pain of the procedure… Remember, they don’t use sedation for these procedures (my GI specialist is shocked they don’t!), and even though I’ve been asking for lidocaine to be injected for past tube replacements, how do I bear to have needles pushed into such raw tissue?! 😭 Please pray that I will be courageous and strong in the Lord. I think of the verse from Philippians 4:19, and it’s comforting: “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” He will grant me the peace and strength I need to be brave. His grace is sufficient. ❤️